Vertigo
by runswithskizors
Summary: He was ready to give it all up, throw everything away, but his guardian angel wouldn't let him. Or is he really a devil? Hell bent on causing war and him bent on just trying to earn his wings. Dark Akuroku AU. Various pairings.
1. Adam's Song

_Oh yeah, plot is gunna hit this story. And hard! Just enjoy the beginnings of trouble for Rox for now. _

* * *

The black depths of the ice cold water rushing beneath my feet were calling to me in a swift voice. They were luring me into their sweet embrace, whispering my name softly in my ear in a gurgling voice, almost menacing in the muggy summer air. It was tempting. My feet began to slowly inch their way towards the edge of the railing to the bridge I was perched on. Beneath me, who knows how many feet below, you could hear the calm rush of the waters.

They were about to take my troubling life out of my hands.

I drew in a deep, summer scented breath, trying to settle my frazzled nerves. I could feel enlightenment on the edges of my consciousness, murmuring all the truths of the world to me. I felt around the edge of the railing cautiously with my toe, uncertain about everything. But I felt free, like I was growing wings sprouting from my back. I raised my arms to my sides and lifted my face to the blackened sky, feeling as if I was flexing my long unused wings. They stretched and rose to great, spanning lengths above me, granting me my freedom.

I had a taste and I wanted more.

With my last gulp of air, I took that important final step off the edge of the earth, plummeting into darkness.

But the wind did not rush past my ears, whistling their approval in great cheers for me as I took my own life, the cold water did not rush up from underneath me, enveloping me in its prickling, cold arms; no numbing sensation filled me up, nothing washed away all of my fears and erased my body from this earth. I was still here, still breathing, suspended, somehow, in mid air.

I opened my eyes, trying to make sense of my sudden suspension of gravity.

Instead of the cold, I felt warm, strong arms wrapped securely around my waist, holding me away from the water, keeping me on that ledge. After a moment or two, they pulled me down from the ledge even, setting me down safely on the cobblestone bridge. My eyes were wide with shock, my breathing shallow and uneven, my heart racing in my chest. I felt someone's face suddenly drop on to my shoulder, letting out a long, heated breath on the back of my neck, sending a shiver up my spine. Their grip around me never loosened for an instant, keeping me tightly against their chest.

With a shaky laugh, the stranger's voice vibrating through my frame, he breathed into my ear, "Thought I was too late for a second there."

The voice was smokey, burning through my eardrum like hot coals, a fire spreading through my veins from those low cinders. I let myself relax, melting into his heat. Had it been only seconds ago that I was wishing for the coldness of death?

Suddenly remembering myself, I steeled myself over, roughly shoving away from the stranger's arms. I took a few steps back, turning around to face him, a scowl glued to my face.

When I saw him, however, my expression faltered for a second. He had spiky, red hair with deep, black roots jutting out from his head in a windblown way. His eyes were emeralds surrounded by a layer of thick black eyelashes, tear shaped tattoos were under both of his eyes, giving him the appearance of a ridiculous clown. He was dressed head to toe in black, blending in perfectly to the night, save for his fire hair.

His features were breathtaking, to say the least. He looked devilish under the orange glow of a near by street lamp, hardly illuminating his sharp face.

I hardened myself over once again, recovering from the initial shock of..._him_. I drew in a shaky breath, crossing my arms over my chest and narrowing my eyes at him. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing," I shouted.

A hurt look filled those green eyes, confusion evident on his face as he replied, "I was saving you."

"What if I didn't want to be saved," I bit back.

"But you were going to jump off the bridge," he stated plainly, the confusion was creeping into his tone now, "you would've drowned."

"That was the point," I snapped, looking away towards the railing I had previously been standing on. Just over the edge, I could make out the reflection of the light bouncing off the water's surface...it seemed so far away. I looked back to the red head who was staring plainly at me. His lack of expression threw me off.

"Why did you want to kill yourself," He asked, demeanor completely serious.

"That...is a complicated question," I muttered under my breath, staring at my shoes for a moment, thinking back to all the events that lead up to this drastic decision. I quickly lifted my blue gaze to stare into his emerald eyes once again as I asked him, "Why did you stop me?"

A small smirk graced his features, seeming to light up his entire face, a welcomed change from the hard expression he wore just moments ago. With a cluck of his tongue he replied, "Ah, now that's the easiest question. I'm your guardian angel, of course."

I turned around and left.

My back to him, I began to walk myself...to where, I had no idea. After the last little incident back at home, there was no way I was going back to that hell hole. I couldn't walk up to a friend's house at 2 in the morning on a thursday night, I'd get kicked out, no doubt about it. So...where would I go tonight was the big question?

While I was lost in my thoughts, trying to plan out the rest of my evening, the best one so far being to spend my measly 10 dollars i had in my back pocket wasting away over a cup of coffee at a late night restaurant, I hadn't realized who was fallowing me. That was, however, until he spoke up.

"Where are you going?"

I let out my breath in an aggravated sigh. The crazy man was fallowing me. Who the hell did he think he was "saving" me like that? Then going on the claim that he was a fucking guardian angel. Why wouldn't he just leave me the hell alone!

"I don't know," I replied through gritted teeth.

"Well, why don't you come home with me?"

I wheeled on him, coming up only inches away from him, glaring defiantly into his bright, green eyes. With a scowl I asked, "What are you, some kind of freaky pedophile who likes to pick up little boys?"

With a crooked grin he shook his head and replied, "Nah, I already told you. I'm your guardian angel."

I groaned, spinning around on my heel to continue walking again off into the distant night. I didn't want to admit that I actually did, in fact, need his help because in all reality I had no where else to go. My family, or so they claimed to be, probably wouldn't even open the front door for me. I had to face it...I was pretty much a bum at this point. My temper was flaring at this moment though, due to this red head's utter stupidity, and I refused to admit anything. "Not again with the 'guardian angel' thing."

"Whaddya mean," He asked, running up to walk by my side. He was leaning over in my face, trying to see my expression, but I kept my eyes securely downwards. "I'm not lying if that's what you're thinking. I was really sent by the higher ups. Face it kid, I'm stuck with you and you're stuck with me."

"Like hell," I snapped, taking a sharp right down another path out of the park and onto a street sidewalk. They were virtually empty save for a few late night drunkards who just wanted to forget they had wives to go home to. Unfortunately for me, he turned sharply on his heel and ran to catch up with my brisk pace.

"So if you're not gunna bunk with me," he trailed off in a lofty voice, "then where are ya gunna go? Home?"

"No," I spat.

"Friend's house?"

"No," my reply was sullen.

"Family member of any kind?"

I was silent.

"So...basically all you have left is me, right," He concluded, fishing around for something in the pockets of his black jeans. I looked over at him to see what it was. He pulled out a cigarette and placed the elegant looking stick into his mouth, at the same moment whipping out a lighter and flashing it across his face, a spark igniting for a split second in the darkness of the night. I watched, waiting for him to spark it again to light his cigarette, but he merely put it away. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion...until I saw the end lighting up with dull cinders.

"How did you do that," I asked softly.

He looked over at me, curious to see what I was talking about. With a knowing smirk, he tapped the ashes off the end and stuck the butt back in his mouth. "It's magic."

I rolled my eyes and continued walking, "So you're a guardian angel sent from heaven to watch over me...who smokes."

"I've got a couple of piercings too," he replied, a wicked smile on his face, "wanna see em?"

I blanched and smacked his arm.

He rubbed his wounded arm with an amused look, turning his face to the sky above us where the stars twinkled coldly in the distance, not bothering with petty, human life. With a deep sigh he told me, "It's the mystery of earth. Human vices got to me." He turned his face to look at me long and hard with those emerald eyes once again. "So kid, you gunna bunk with me or not?"

I didn't reply for an extended amount of time, trying in vain to prolong the moment until I would have to surrender to this stranger's will. We continued walking as I held my breath. I knew that if I released it, it would come out as a white flag.

"Blondie," he finally asked, poking me in the side.

I released the air with a tormented, "_Fine!_"

A huge, lopsided grin stole over his face; wide, green eyes were sparkling with his sudden enthusiasm as my surrender finally registered in his brain. He dropped his cigarette to the ground, rubbing it firmly into the concrete. Suddenly, his long, lanky arms swept me up in a vice grip of a hug, crushing me to his chest as he chuckled lightly. After my initial moment of shock, I started to struggle again his hold, kicking my legs, trying to break free...but eventually gave up on that as well. I felt broken all of a sudden. My moment of freedom back on the bridge felt so far away...

"Alright, kid, lets get some food in you," he finally said, setting me back on my feet so I could breathe. "I'll bet you're starving, near death experiences and everything. I'll show you my favorite late night place. Come on, stop looking so morose, you're not 6 feet under water and I'm not castrated because of it, so count your blessings for the both of us."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I dead panned, "And my name's not kid, or blondie. It's Roxas."

With a crooked, devilish smile, he winked at me and replied, "Nice to meet ya Roxas. Name's Axel."

My was face falling by degrees as I realized I had just given up to _him_ of all the random strangers in the world. There was something about him that just generally irked me. I felt like I _had_ to win against him somehow...but I just lost. Now I was at his mercy and I couldn't imagine any other place I would rather not be.

* * *

_He's got a rotten attitude. But hey, with good reason. _


	2. Goodnight and Go

_Aright! Your reviews got me geared up to write this bad boy. While I might not have gotten a lot, there's a certain quality to them. I love you guys so much for reading and reviewing! So! There is plot on the way, trust me. Lot and lots of plot._

_You'll hear about Roxas's story...in a chapter or two. He's just too tired to deal with it right now. And Axel? Well, you might hear his story in...80 chapters. Yeah, 80 sounds like a reasonable estimate. _

_*Scratches head* I guess I have to figure out Axel's story first...eheheh...._

_So I hope you Enjoy It!_

* * *

Despite my persistent protesting, I still found myself, quiet against my will, at a late night diner. A middle aged woman with a pound of make up on to cover up her wrinkles and tired eyes was serving me scorching hot, completely tasteless black coffee from a standard 1990s coffee pot. You know, the kinds that look like a clear bulb with the black mouth at the top, the kind they leave on a hot plate. Her pudgy hand on her plump waist, she leaned over and filled up my mug. I got a clear look at the wrinkles lining her face; laugh lines, frown lines, crows feet. They would've seemed endearing had she not looked utterly annoyed. She turned to Axel then, jutting her hip out to anchor her weight. "Anything you want, sweetheart?"

"We're good for now," he smiled at her, not showing any teeth, and it didn't touch his eyes. Not a genuine smile.

After a moment of looking at the red head with some hint of curiosity shining in her eyes, she lurched herself forward in a way only old women know how, letting her fake nails graze along the laminated table top and drop to her side. I watched her large hips sway as she moved away to pour another cup of coffee for a strange looking man with a newspaper in hand. What was he doing at a diner at 2 in the morning? Then again, the same could be said for us I guess.

"Don't like coffee?" I ripped my gaze away from...whatever it was I had been trying to see. I watched him with mild disgust as he poured spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his creation, adding in a generous amount of cream as well, and mixed the contents with the light clang of his spoon.

I reached for the sugar and poured in not even a spoonful, mixing it around, i drew the mug to my lips and took a test taste. It slid naturally over my tongue and I welcomed in it's abrasive flavor with a slight sigh of pleasure. I set the mug down only to find Axel staring at me.

"...What?"

He just shook his head, a grin twisting his lips up in an expression of utter amusement. "Nothing," he finally replied, taking a cautious sip of his hot drink, "should've known you like it bitter."

That threw me off a tad bit. How did he know what I wanted, what I liked? Who was he to judge me after knowing me for, what, 10 minutes? Ten of those I shouldn't even have been alive for...The urge to scream at Axel was overwhelming. I wanted to scream my questions at him, ask him why he had saved my wretched life, how he had even found me, why he even cared, why he hadn't just left me on the bridge to do what I had to do?

My dread and depression reared up high inside of me, threatening to break out of my lungs in huge sobs. I slumped down into my seat to hide myself from the world I had been trying to escape, trying to suppress my upcoming emotional outburst...or rather, breakdown. Please, not in this place, in front of Axel, Newspaper Guy, and especially that drying up old lady. She would soak her cracked and chapped soul in my tears, replenishing herself, I could feel it.

As I tried my hardest not to cry, the spiteful little demons slipped free, almost mocking my conscious effort to force them back into the tear ducts they belonged in. They slid silently down my cheeks until the slight sobs I had been repressing were making my shoulders shudder with their force.

The crushing weight of...everything was suddenly pressed in on me, pushing my spirit down into the pit of my stomach, making the churning and awful emotions be pushed up through my throat in a quiet sob.

I could feel those emerald eyes staring at me, boring through my forehead, trying to see what's inside my skull. Damn that man for being here! I hated to have anyone see me cry, I felt so weak, so pitiful. I buried my face into my hands in a futile effort to control my sobs. Just as soon as I did though, another sob made my shoulders shake.

There was nothing in the entire world I wouldn't give to disappear just then...hell, I would sell my soul!

I suddenly felt a warm arm snake behind my back and another around my stomach, wrapping me in a warm circle and pulling me closer to the source of the heat. I sat utterly still in shock for a moment or two until that heat started to sink into me. I relaxed against his chest.

It was just so...warm...and pleasant...I had never really been held before. Well sure, I've gotten hugs from my friends, but that hardly counts.

He lowered his cheek until it pressed into the top of my head, his breath saturating my hair. My tears still flowed freely, a sob wracking through me occasionally, but I was starting to calm down a considerable amount. His voice tickled in my ear as he whispered very softly now and then, "Shh...It's alright, I've got you, It's alright."

"Who are you," I breathed.

A light chuckle reverberated through through his body. I could feel it as if it were my own. "Silly, I already told you."

"No," I shook my head against him, recalling his assertion that he was some sort of angel, "not what are you, _who_?"

We were silent for a long time, my curiosity only being fed as if it were a hungry fire swallowing whole the books thrown into it. My exhaustion from the night was beginning to take a toll on my mental and physical stamina. My eyelids were starting to droop, my head lulled. Sensing this, Axel pushed me up off of him, much to my disappointment, and squared my shoulder with his palms to try and steady me. The first serious expression I had seen on his face that whole night was staring down at me with worry in his eyes. He finally answered my question, "Not someone you want to get mixed up with, Roxas."

* * *

It took him a lot of effort to finally get me out of the diner, my arm around his neck as he hunched down to try and help me walk normally. I didn't know what was wrong with me, and I felt stupid and pathetic for having to depend on him so much. I guess the fact that it was nearly three in the morning clicked in my brain.

He made it nearly a block before I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and they drooped closed with absolutely no way for me to pry them back open. I heard Axel give a loud sigh beside me before taking my arm away from his neck. I tried to stand up on my own, finding it difficult with my legs nearly giving out beneath me, shaking under my effort.

"This is _not_ working," Axel declared, wrapping one arm around my shoulder blades. I opened my eyes a tiny bit, as far as I could get them, to find the red head stooping down.

Suddenly I was weightless.

He lifted my legs out directly from under me, carrying me effortlessly, bridal style.

* * *

I don't know how much time had passed until I heard a door being kicked open. It felt like only a couple of seconds. Had I fallen asleep?

We walked a couple more steps until I was dumped onto something plush, soft...a bed? Something heavy and warm was laid on top of me...A blanket....maybe? "Gosh, Roxy, you're a lot heavier than you look."

I wanted to...say something mean...but...where was I?

A weight suddenly flopped down beside me and let out a sigh.

Axel?

Arms flopped on top of me.

Definitely Axel.

"Alright blondie, time to get some shut eye," his voice drifted lazily into my ear. "staying up till all hours of the morning isn't a smart thing...to...do." Had he yawned? Yeah that was a yawn...

There was a strange outside source of heat that was nearby...I wanted it. I rolled around a bit until I found the direction it was coming from. Was this heat...Axel? It was amazing and warm and comfortable...

"Watchya lookin' for, Rox?"

I drew myself closer to that warmth. It _was_ Axel. I snuggled closer and muttered, "You."

* * *

A/N: Awww, cute, right?

Well it's too darned bad that's not going to last for very long now is it? I like to watch Roxy squirm and suffer. He takes it so well! Axel on the other hand? Too much of a crybaby. Well I hoped you enjoyed reading it. look for the next chapter very soon because I've taken to writing them down in school. Gets them done a bit quicker I guess.

R&R!


	3. The Kill

_Alright! I told you guys there would be plot! And you didn't believe me -waggles finger- im disturbed at your lack of faith. Hehe, anyway, that aside, I'm thinkin I need a beta. -love you kiss-chan but maybe i'll make a beta friend like you did! Then we can be like the 3 amigops! only of writing! and Fanfictions!- So Anyone wanna take a crack at it? I know this story isn't extremely popular and I can live without one._

_But without any further ado! Please, R&R. Oh yeah, and enjoy. Don't forget that part._

_The Roxy breakdown it only a chapter away, my darlings!_

* * *

The sound of a door slamming open ripped me cruelly from my pleasant dreams of living a happy, care free life surrounded by warmth and love. A pair of arms flew away from my body, their actions making the entire bed shake as they tried to sit up and steady themselves against the sudden rush of movement. My eyes were trying desperately to adjust to the light of my new surroundings, blinking away the bleariness and focusing on the closest thing they could, which just so happened to be Axel.

Wait.

What?

Axel?!

He was running a frantic hair through his untamed mane of fiery red hair, green eyes squinting and blinking against the morning light. He look so beautiful...like a sun god. The gentle rays were falling on his face, softening his features and making him look so angelic. He was shirtless and the golden sun was shining on his perfectly toned chest, his pale skin almost glinting. I wanted to reach out and run my hand along that smooth surface. He looked so utterly amazing...but this beauty could certainly only belong to an angel.

Wait, what was I thinking?!

He threw the sheets from his legs, stumbled away from the bed and towards the door. He turned the knob and casually opened it, throwing a glance over his shoulder at me. I just lay there in his bed, dazed and utterly confused. With that, he walked out the door and around the corner, out of my sight, still without a shirt on.

I sat up slowly in bed, feeling woozy at the blood rush, looking around the room. Black sheets were tangled in my legs and I realized I was fully clothed. As least he wasn't a perv and didn't undress me. But...he did sleep with me last night...right?

Blood rushed quickly to my cheeks at the tantalizing thought. I ran a flustered hand through my feathery blonde hair, giving a deep sigh and trying to work out what I would do from here...

_**Crash!**_

What the _hell_ was that!? I jumped a mile in the air, my heart pounding against my rib cage, trying to break free it seemed. I hastily wrenched myself free of the tangled sheets and hurled myself towards the bedroom door.

Someone else was here, you dumbass. I remembered myself just then and cautiously peeked around the corner...

"You always did have shitty aim," Axel was speaking to a male with pale pink hair that flipped away from his face in way too many layers. It was gayer than Andy Dick in a leather thong, and that was most certainly saying something. He was standing with his hands on his hips, face set in a scowl, staring at Axel who was standing just to the right of a shattered plate. I guessed the pink haired man had thrown it at the wall in a futile attempt to hit Axel in the head.

He swept a hand through his feathery pink hair, brushing it back over his shoulder in a very feminine gesture. "Well, we can't _all_ be like Xigbar, now can we?" The pink haired man threw the man who was rummaging through the fridge a look of utter death.

Axel sighed in frustration, "Get out of my damn fridge, Xigbar."

The man whipped his had up, a strawberry half in his mouth. He rose an eyebrow in amusement at Axel's sudden outburst, sinking his teeth into the red flesh of the fruit and tore it out of his mouth in a very menacing looking way. "Such naughty language," He said around the strawberry in his mouth. He finally swallowed and waggled the bitten off end in Axel's direction in a scolding manner. "They're hardly going to let you back in on good conduct if you keep acting this way."

Axel scoffed, "I'm hardly looking for a way back in." He cocked a defiant eyebrow at the old man. "I'm just here doing my business and then I'm off."

Xigbar snorted at this, chucking the end of his strawberry into the garbage can near the pink haired male, sinking the shot perfectly. So he _did_ have good aim. "And then what? You gunna get your little pigeon feathers back? Everything will be right as rain again? Fine and dandy? Well I got news for ya kid, It doesn't just work like that. He puts you through a bunch of shit just to jerk you around. Bastard couldn't give a rat's ass about your tanned hide. Don't expect to lay down with the dogs in the dirt and bounce right back to your feet again. You're chained up like the rest of us."

"You better shut the hell up," Axel said in a voice that was utterly menacing, "you know as much about him as you do your own boss; next to nothing! So I'd advise that you keep your mouth shut and your nose out of other peoples' business if you know what's good for you."

"Oh Axel," he retorted, shaking his head head in what seemed like amusement, "you _made_ yourself our business. At least we have outright promises, a commitment to a plan, not just a willy-nilly wait-and-see attitude. Come on, Ax. You've turned your back on him because he's turned his back on you. Just join us and you'll get what you seek, what he all seek."

"And what would _that_ be?"

"Salvation."

Axel barked a laugh at them, eyes dancing with excitement for some strange reason. "You seek salvation so you go to _him_," He spat, a grin lighting his face, "what a joke! How can you possibly find freedom under _his_ plan?!"

"Better than no plan," The pink haired male growled, hands clenching into fists at his sides. "We can live peacefully on earth under _his_ wing. We can redeem ourselves under _his_ rule. We can escape that damned place we've been banished to by that unfair asshole with _his_ plan! Stop living in denial, stop being placated by his complete dismissal of any and all problems! He acts as if everything is always perfect all the time, but if that's true, why was there a war in the first place?!

"Why are more and more people leaving him? He's living in a fantasy world, you know this better than anyone, Axel. Why are you so persistent on staying with him?"

"Because I really hate you guys," he replied simply, crossing his arms over his chest in a cocky gesture. "I remember the first war, don't you? Read my lips, I want nothing to do with this, got it memorized?"

The man with pink hair threw xigbar a glare. He just nodded. In a flash of movement too fast to follow through my morning haziness, I blinked and instantly saw Xigbar holding Axel's arm pinned behind his back, on his knees, head pushed down to the floor by the nuzzle of a gun, The pink haired man was kneeling in front of Axel who gave him the dirtiest look known to man.

"You're going to hell one way or another, Axel. We'd much prefer you alive."

"You're delusional."

"Are you going to come quietly or will we have to use Zexion's force?"

Axel flinched a bit, but his eyes remained unwavering, boring into the man in front of him as he said slowly, "Go fuck yourself, Marluxia."

Said man stood up quickly, a small smile lighting his face as he looked at Xigbar. "Okay! force it is! Xig, you know what to do."

He cocked the gun.

Axel squeezed his eyes shut.

I hurled myself into the room.

I managed to catch both men off guard as I flung myself at Axel, knocking him to the ground and forcing Xigbar to stumble away from us, trying to regain his lost footing from shock. Axel looked just as surprised when he found me sprawled on top of him in a protective manner. With a confused look, blinking several times, he tried to make sense of how I came to basically straddle him on the floor. In all honesty, so was I.

Suddenly, I was ripped away from Axel, a hand fisted itself into my hair, nails barely grazing my scalp as they twisted the locks they held in a painful way. I was pulled roughly to my feet, but forced back on to my knees just as quickly, head being held back. A knife with a miniature scythe blade was pressed to my throat, threateningly digging into my skin.

I watched as Axel made a lung for me, but Xigbar grabbed the back of his shirt, reeling him back. He kicked the red head harshly to the the ground, waited for Axel to try to get to his knees, a look of utter pain on his face, when he pressed his gun to Axel's temple. His hand fisted in his red hair.

Everything was still.

"Looks like we got ourselves a little rat," Marluxia snarled in my ear, his voice felt soft as silk, "sneaky little pest."

"You know what to do with rodents," Xibgar replied offhandedly, "Kill it."

"No!"

The blade, which had made a quick move to dig slightly deeper into my neck, was suddenly lax against my skin. I opened my eyes to find Axel staring at me with a desperate look on his face, tears rolling silently down his cheeks. It was enough to break my heart.

"Please," he whispered softly, never taking those gorgeous emerald orbs off of me, "please, kill me, but...just let him go..._please_."

"Ahhh," Marluxia's voice vibrated through my body, making my stomach twist in a sickening way, "looks like we have ourselves a little bargaining chip. But I'm curious Axel, why this boy? Where'd you pick up this little cutie?"

He was silent. He still stared at me.

"Not gunna tell us, eh," Marluxia's lips were softly pressed to my throat, mumbling his words against my skin. "I guess if you can't tell us to save him, he isn't that important, now is he?" A hot, wet tongue trailed from my neck to the soft pot behind my ear and back down again, leaving a disgusting trail of cold saliva in it's wake. It made me shudder. "He would be a nice little addition to our toy collection down there, now don't you think so?"

Axel tried to wrench himself free of Xigbar's hold, but it was useless.

"Stop touching him," Axel growled, "he's got nothing to do with any of this. I told you, you can kill me, but let the kid go. A life for a life, that's a fair deal."

Marluxia halted his assault on my neck, giving Axel a deep and prolonged look before shrugged and pushing me away from him. I fell to my hands on the floor, never taking my eyes away from the carpet beneath me. "Alright, I am nothing if not fair." Axel scoffed at his. "But I need you_ alive_. If we killed you, we would just have to go around hunting you down all over again, and what would be the use of that?"

"What are you doing, Marluxia?"

I whipped my head up to find a small figure in a black cloak, exactly how the other two men were dressed, standing in the doorway to Axel's apartment. I saw him flinch out of the corner of my eye. The pink haired man scowled at the small figure.

He walked into the room, lifting his hood from his face.

He had gray hair that seemed to almost shine in the sunlight, a light undertone of blue was evident as well. A curtain of hair covered his right eye from view, but his left was perfectly visible. The iris was a deep, dark blue color that seemed to have actual depth. His lips were pressed into a thin, annoyed line; perfect eyebrows drawn together in irritation. His skin was a milky white. He was...beautiful. Not as beautiful as Axel, but still, he held a certain degree of perfection.

"What are you doing here, Zexion?"

Ah, so that's why Axel flinched when he saw him. What could someone this small do that was so horrible though?

"Checking in on you two," he replied, taking in the situation, "you do realize that he wants nothing to do with Axel unless he comes of his own free will, right? Your job his not to hold him hostage, but persuade him."

"Tried the persuasion," Xigbar replied, taking the gun away from Axel's head, "didn't really work."

"And if we're not supposed to use force," Marluxia intoned, placing his hands on his hips, "why did he send you?"

"Merely as a babysitter," he replied to the pink haired man. To axel he said, "Don't worry, I'm not here to make you do anything against your own will. Just remember where your loyalties lie. You're on earth for a reason, and it isn't because you're his favorite."

"I know that," he muttered darkly, "how about this. I'll think about it, and you three can hightail your asses out of my apartment. Deal?"

"I think that is a fair negotiation for the time being," he replied, nodding his head lightly, "but If I were you I would keep in mind the repercussions of the decision you make."

"I'll take your advice to heart," he gritted out, "now, if you'll be so kind..."

"Of course."

With that, the gray haired man disappeared in what looked like tendrils of black and purple smog. With a sneer from Marluxia and a grunt of disappointment from Xigbar, they both vanished the same manner.

I closed my eyes and let out of a shaky breath.

Then I collapsed on my stomach to the floor.

Axel hurried over to me, placing a hand on my back and rubbing in soothing circles. "You okay," he asked, voice tinted with concern.

I nodded. "That was a first. Now I can say I've been threatened at knife point for a reason I completely do not understand."

"I'm sorry."

I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion and managed to right myself into a sitting position. I found Axel staring at the floor, not daring to meet my gaze. He looked so utterly forlorn. "What are you sorry about?"

He sighed dramatically, waving his hands around to gesture to the entire apartment, "For everything! This is all my fault and I know it. I'm sorry I dragged you in to this. I should have just dropped you off back at home where you belong and-"

"I don't belong back at home," I muttered darkly, cutting off his rant and staring at the floor. "I can understand about you having second thoughts about keeping me around, but...I'm grateful for it. I can never go back home. If there's one place I never belong it's there. I'm sorry I've been a burden to you, I could go find a friend's place now and sleep over-"

He softly grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger, pulling my face up, away from the floor. I refused to meet his gaze though. "Look at me." I stalled for a moment before I finally looked deep into those emerald green eyes. "You are _not_ a burden to me. I feel guilty for putting your life in danger like that-"

"Because jumping off a bridge isn't putting my life in danger," I cut off.

He continued as if he hadn't heard me, "-and I never want to have that happen to anyone. So accept my damn apology already and stop assuming like I don't want you here. I let you come over last night, so how does that translate into me hating you?"

He let go of my chin and I looked back at the floor, "Fine, I accept your apology, no matter how much you didn't need to offer one, and i'll stop being emo."

"Good boy!" He ruffled my blonde hair lightly. "Now, do you wanna tell me why you were jumping off a bridge last night?"

"Not really."

"Well too bad," He retorted, standing up and grabbing a pair of keys from where they were lying on the kitchen table. "because I saved your sorry ass, you're morally obligated to tell me over breakfast."

"I don't think I can keep it down," I muttered under my breath, "I almost just had my head sliced off."

"We'll start with coffee and go from there," he replied, offering his hand to me. I looked up into those green eyes that seemed to swallow me whole and placed my hands in his without a second thought.

* * *

A/N: Ahhh, what'd you guys think? The ending was a bit rushed I think...

So yeah there's a reason Zex looks utterly perfect. If you can guess it I'll uhm...I dunno, give you a spoiler if you want. Or a cookie. Or awesome points. I'd choose the awesome points if I were you, those are damn hard to get!

So yeah! Review suckas! hope you liked it.


	4. Just like you

Yeah I completely lost anything I've ever had for any of my stories, but I'm back and at 'em folks! So this chapter I was not looking forward to writing seeing how it was going to be mostly Roxas complaining about how much his life sucks, and I hate it when rox is that emo, but it had to be done since he _did_ try to kill himself and what not.

Well! i hope you guys won't shoot me in the face with BBguns

Enjoy! And Review!

**Disclaimer**:I always forget these things.

* * *

"Roxas?"

No response.

"Hey, you okay?"

Not a word.

"You don't look so hot."

I looked up into those shockingly green emerald eyes (would they never cease to amaze me with their color?) and found concern shining in those green pools. "Yeah, I'm okay," I offered up as a response, "just...a little shell shocked from almost being killed, you know?"

"Ah, I know what you mean," Axel replied, finally walking forward along the sidewalk. It was a warm morning, the sun gently filtered through the leaves making everything seem so much greener and more alive. I was just counting my blessings that I was in the same state as those leaves. We were headed towards...well fuck if i knew where we were headed, but i assumed it had food and a place to sit. "I guess I've kind of gotten over the whole near death thing," he continued, a crooked smirk crawling on his lips, a glint in his eye, "comes with experience."

"I'm sure it does," I mumbled under my breath, averting my eyes to the pavement watching as each foot came in to view. Right, left, right, left...

I was almost killed by strange looking men in another man's apartment that i had just met not 12 hours ago.

Right, left, right...

And the previous evening I had pretty much passed out in the aforementioned stranger's arms.

Left, right...

And before that I had tried to kill myself by jumping off a bridge...

"You okay Roxas?"

I was jolted out of my thought process and whipped my head up to find Axel standing just a few feet in front of me, causing me to stop dead in my tracks, a hair's breadth away from his chest. I looked up into those green, green eyes...

"Earth to Roxy, are you in there," he waved a hand in front of my face and i shook my head back and forth a couple of times, cautiously stepping back a few feet so we weren't so close. He was leaning away from me, he looked hurt by my backing away, his brow creased and a frown on his lips.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking," I replied, putting a hand to my forehead to see if I had a fever or something since I felt like I was going to throw up all over the red head's shoes.

He took a careful step towards me, brushing my hand away with his own and feeling my forehead as well. I could feel myself burning up underneath his touch, my skin lighting on fire. He pressed his palm gently to my cheek, that familiar look of concern sparking in those emerald eyes.

I came back to my senses and took another step away from him, giving him my trademark scowl, "I'm fine."

His lips twitched downward for a second before flicking back up into a smirk, but it didnt touch his eyes. "Alright, it's time for mission 'Make Roxy Less of a Debbie Downer'!"

He marched forward once again, a new bounce in his step with a sense of purpose. I rose my eyebrows and followed behind him. "Debbie downer," I asked skeptically. When I got no answer I finally asked, "and how is that going to be accomplished?"

"Pancakes!"

"Pancakes?"

"Yes, my little ball of sunshine, pancakes are god's great gift to earth," he preached, face turned towards the sky, a look of higher knowledge gracing him, an air of importance and omnipotence which was completely ridiculous considering the fact that he was taking about fucking pancakes.

He reached out and took a firm hold of my hand unexpectedly, fingers gently wrapping around mine, as he pulled me forward across the sidewalk at a quicker pace than before, a genuine grin on his face at the prospect of eating pancakes, I assumed. He was glowing with glee, positively radiating some sort of inner furnace thing. He took long, wide strides which i had to run to keep up with. Damn being short.

"How far away is this place," I asked irritably.

"Just around the corner, sunshine!"

"Don't call me that," I grumbled.

He wasn't joking. We literally turned a corner and I found myself in an extremely familiar setting. A run down old coffee shop with long windows and booths set up next to them, a counter with stools behind the booths. We walked through the front door, the bell tingling as we entered, and Axel lead me to the exact same table we had sat at last night where I had practically feinted from exhaustion.

A waitress, a different one this time, fairly young, maybe in her late 20s, a lot of eyeliner on, plump hips and a thin waist with a painted on face, came up with a pad of paper and pen in her hands immediately as we sat down. She was chewing pink bubblegum, mouth hanging open as she did it, a bored look on her face, hip cocked as she stood in front of us in her pink uniformed dress. She blew a bubble and finally asked, "What can I get you two?"

"Two coffees and a plate of blueberry pancakes, please," Axel asked, a smile on his face.

The girl looked up. I thought she was going to start singing a joyous show tune with the way her face utterly lit up at the sight of the irritating red head. She place a hand on the table and leaned in a bit closer to him, putting the pad and pencil on the table. "Is that all you want, babe?"

"I don't know," Axel said in an utterly unfazed voice, "do you want anything else, Rox?"

She flicked her eyes to me and her smile grew a tad bit wider. "Well, aren't you just a cute little thing," she gushed, reaching over and pinching one of my cheeks. I smacked her hand away with complete indifference, which only seemed to please her more. "My gosh, aren't you just utterly adorable, I'd eat you up, sweetie."

A frown creased Axel's face at this. "I think that's it, actually." His voice held a tone of finality. No one was going to say differently.

She actually got the hint and straightened up, giving him one last glance before taking her pad and pencil with her, popping her bright pink gum which I could still smell.

I looked at Axel and saw him roll his eyes dramatically before reaching over to the salt shaker and twirling it absentmindedly on the table top. He radiated pissed off. "What's wrong," I asked.

"That was just rude," he mumbled without looking up from playing with the salt that spilled over, throwing a bit over it over his shoulder before messing with the remaining bits. "She shouldn't be so over the top like that, and pinching your cheek? That's just rude."

"What's got you in such a foul mood," I asked, completely thrown off by his sudden mood swing, "We're getting pancakes, remember? God's food?"

"God can go fuck himself."

Well...that was different.

"Axel...what's wrong," I asked, leaning across the table a bit and trying to get him to look up at me. He kept fiddling with the spilled salt and I eventually put my hands over his. They jerked back in a flash of movement that left me stunned, putting them in his lap and looking me in the eye.

They were hard and green, just like emeralds...

"Can I asked you something Roxas?"

"Sure," I replied, dazed.

"Why did you try to jump?"

A million thoughts rushed through my head, overloading my brain. I sat there staring blankly at him for a couple of seconds until I could regain my composure enough to think through options of what I would tell him. He seemed completely serious, not like the joking Axel I had known...it was disconcerting. Still...I couldn't just tell him the truth. No one knows the truth. No one needs to know it. I could tell him I didn't plan to jump. I could tell him it was a bet, or a dare. I could say I was sleepwalking, I could-

"I was angry."

Whoa! What did I just decide? _Not_ to tell him the truth. And what did I just do? Told him the truth. What the hell, Roxas?

"At what?"

"Everything," I replied, deflating intensely and sinking in to my chair. The waitress came around with our cups of coffee. I expected another incident with her and Axel, but she did nothing, just dropped off the cups and left. "Yesterday...was the day I finally told my friends and my twin brother that I'm...gay."

Axel nodded, pouring in spoonful after spoonful of sugar in to his coffee and mixing it somehow silently with his spoon. "So I'm assuming they didn't take it well?"

At that moment, everything just seemed to spill out of me. The fact that here was this almost perfect stranger sitting in front of me listening to everything I say and not being at all judgmental just made me want to spill everything. So I did. "Hayner punched me in the gut and called me a faggot before walking away. Pence gave me this really pitiful look before shaking his head and walking after Hayner and Olette just stared at me in silence until she walked off with them."

"And your twin?"

"Well, he took it well, but that's only because he's secretly in the closet himself and doesn't know it yet," I explained, reaching for my coffee and sipping at the scalding liquid. It seemed to wake me up almost immediately. "So he did the stupidest thing in the world and told my parents. Well, my father went in to a rampage and smacked me across the face while my mother just sat there and watched. Sora tried to make him stop, but he hit him too. He told me 'get out of my goddamn house, you fucking faggot! I never want to see your fucking face here again!' So that was that. I just up and left."

"Jesus christ, Roxas, he kicked you out for good," he asked, putting his cup down on the table and giving me a hard look.

I nodded, staring into the dark liquid in my hands as it shook slightly with my hands.

"So you can't go back at all?"

"That's what I'm assuming," I replied, not looking up.

"You're welcome at my place for as long as you want," He offered. This made me look up into his green, green eyes. They were sad and sincere. "I'm not even joking, Rox. you can stay as long as you like."

"I couldn't do that to you, Axel," I replied turning my eyes back down to my coffee as I started to crush my own hopes. I was spectacularly good at this, but a lot of people were better at it than me. "I don't want to be a burden on you. I don't have a job or anything and I couldn't pay part of the rent."

"It's no big deal," he stated, "we'll get that worked out later, but I don't want you living on the streets without a roof over your head."

I looked up once more in to his eyes and almost tripped over my words and I tried to force them out through my sudden haze. "Why are you so nice to me, Axel? I mean, I just met you not even 24 hours ago and you're already offering a place for me to stay? Why?"

"I've known you longer than 24 hours," was all he said, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his eyes positively lighting up with some hidden secret he was damned not to tell me.

"Blueberry pancakes," The waitress said as she laid the plate down in front of Axel, bending over a bit more than was necessary for simply putting a place on a table. When she straightened herself again, she turned to me and winked. "Want anything else, cutie pie?"

"I'm good," I replied in a hardened voice, hoping to get the message across to her. I preferred the old, dried up waitress from 2 in the morning who was determined not to be a part of anyone's life and just soak up their silent misery by placing plates of comfort food in front of them.

Once she finally left, hips swinging in a girly way away from the table, Axel passed the plate of pancakes over to me. "Eat," he demanded, "they are so good here." He slid over the syrup and I looked down hesitantly at the soft looking breakfast food.

"I feel bad eating your food," I explained, "you paid for them."

"And I'm giving them to you," he replied, a small smile on his lips.

"But it's a waste of-"

"It'll be a waste if you don't eat them before they cool down," he shot back in his cocky way, cutting off a piece of the delicious looking pancakes and hovering the fork close to my mouth. "Eat."

I snatched the small bite off the fork and almost died from the intense wash of nostalgia, comfort and utter contentment as their pancakey magic began to work their warmth in to my bones. The blueberries just went so perfectly with the fluffy, pleasant batter. I poured the syrup over them and took another bite, relishing the flavor.

"Good, right?"

I nodded, mouth full of pancake.

"So is that it," he asked, tone somewhat serious again, "you just told everyone you're gay and that's what drover you over the edge? You shouldn't let people get to you with that kind of thing. You have to learn to put up with people and their intolerances, otherwise you'll never get anything done no matter what you do."

"Are you..."I couldn't finish my sentence, a blush working its way on to my cheeks and making my whole face red.

Axel nodded, taking another drink of his sugar and cream ladened coffee.

"So..what happened to you?"

"Kicked out, more or less," he replied, "well, I was kicked out for other reasons along with that one, but that was a pretty big one. Well, it wasn't such a big loss. I didn't like living where I was in the first place, so It really got me into doing a bunch of things to change my situation around for the better."

"Wow, you're pretty tough," I commented, "a lot of people I know would just give in."

"Like you?"

"...Yeah, like me," I stuffed another bite of pancakes in to my mouth, looking down at my plate, not wanting to meet his too green eyes. "Well, that wasn't just it. I wasn't doing too well in school, got picked on a lot, and my best friend namine just died last month."

"Ouch, from what," he asked.

"Leukemia," my voice broke at the end of that word. It was really hard to talk about her...in fact, this was really the first time I had even mentioned her to anyone since her death. Even sora had never brought her up around me. Everyone was always cautious around that subject, and for good reason.

"That hard," Axel said, "You know you don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to."

"Can I ask _you_ something, Axel?"

"Of course you can, Rox," he replied, a genuine smile on his face.

"Why were those men in your house trying to kill you?"

His eyes widened and he froze up a bit before slouching into his seat a bit more, rubbing the back of his neck and looking off into random corners of the hole-in-the-wall coffee shop we were in. "Whoa, that's a hard one. All I can tell you is that they wanted something from me...something I couldn't give them."

"Why not," I asked, genuinely curious, seeing as how this slightly concerned me since they had threatened to kill me as well. I figured I had a right to know just as much as Axel knew about the situation. Apparently not though.

"Well it's more like they want me to do something for them and I'm currently trying to make amends with the people they really hate so that kind of made them a bit mad," he explained vaguely, scratching the side of his head in thought, "and since I couldn't do what they wanted me to do, their only options were take me by force or kill me."

"Why were they talking about taking you to hell," I asked, putting the fork down on my plate and sitting up straight, staring him directly in his amazingly green eyes, inspecting every emotion that flickered across his face. Worry mixed with confusion and a bit of pain. He tried to avoid my gaze, but couldn't help looking back at me.

He sighed dramatically before dropping his arms on the table and just leveling his stare with mine. "I can't tell you that, Roxas."

"What are you?"

* * *

ohmigosh! drama!

so review!


End file.
